A New York Christmas
by Kedda
Summary: You know it's kinda exactly what the title makes it sound like. Addison and Derek both end up in NY for Christmas.
1. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

So I'm back on this account. I missed it. It's where all the truely Addekness is. It's a happy place. I like it here.

So this is my new fic. I SWEAR THIS IS NOT LASTING PAST THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!

Does anyone believe me?

Read:

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I saw him first. I always see him first.

He was standing at the counter waiting for his coffee, his hands deep in his pockets –– just like always –– and he was just looking around, taking in the enlarged Christmas ornaments hanging in the windows. We always used to wonder why stores and coffee shops had ornaments bigger then anywhere else, we used to wonder where they got them. I always wanted some for our tree –– I thought it would be faster to decorate if the ornaments were bigger –– he thought I'd claim to need a bigger tree.

At first I told myself that it wasn't him I was seeing, that I was just expecting to see him because it was Christmas and I was in New York. Millions of people are in New York at Christmastime and the chances of one of them looking like my ex-husband were high. Average height with dark hair is pretty common.

But I knew it was him. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I couldn't breath. My heart raced. I couldn't move.

All I could think was _'that's him' _and everything else disappeared.

I'm not sure that I had fully decided to move yet, but my feet were moving and my mind was forced to catch up. I couldn't go into the coffee shop, that much I knew, so it seemed that my feet had decided I was going to do a little bit of last minute shopping.

The store I stepped into enveloped me in the familiar scent of leather and Hugo Boss cologne. It was so familiar and yet so foreign that for a moment I stayed frozen in the doorway unable to move. Finally I wandered over to a display; absently I fingered the knitted scarfs, then moved on to leather gloves, then ties, then sweaters. I didn't really have any men to buy for. Dad was done. Archer was done. A guy I'd wanted to spend Christmas with dumped me before I could buy him anything.

So I'm 38 and spending Christmas with my parents because they won't be around forever, and I had no excuse this year not to go –– I wasn't married after all –– and my boyfriend dumped me.

Christmas with him would have been a day of laughter and smiles and stolen kisses in the midst of piles of wrapping paper and bows.

Nothing in this store suited that man anyway. The store suited a man I tried very hard to forget I was madly in love with.

Then I found the perfect pair of gloves, the leather was supple and they were just the right shade of brown –– not to black, not to red, not to orange –– Kevin would've loved them.

As I paid for the gloves I wondered briefly how long I had dawdled in this store, surely Derek wouldn't still be at _Alice's_. Surely by now he was walking through the park on his way to the ice rink. There are certain things that you have to do in New York at Christmas time, drinking hot drinks from _Alice's_ while watching the skaters is one of them. I left the store to walk next door to _Alice's –– _it had been two long years since I'd had a hot mulled cranberry cider –– and just for a moment, as I stepped over the threshold, I could smell the cologne and the leather from the store behind me and I could almost taste the cider from the shop ahead of me. It felt like the world jolted abruptly, then continued turning on it's axis without anyone noticing. It smelled like Christmas. It smelled like every Christmas I'd had for the past 20 years –– like every Christmas since I'd met Derek.

And I missed it.

XXXX

Christmas in New York is freezing. It's magical. But it's freezing. In order to experience the magic of Christmas in New York it is necessary to indulge in blood warming beverages.

When I was in med school we indulged in alcohol stowed away in flasks and tucked in pockets or in Addison's purse –– depending on the fashions that season she could sometimes fit the whole bottle without to much trouble –– but now that I'm hovering on the cusp of 40 I'm finding myself more then content with piping hot coffee with a few shots of hazelnut flavoring as a special Christmas treat.

So because I'm in New York city, and because it is Christmas time, I stand in line at a crowded coffee shop across from Rockefeller Center and wait while tourists read everything on the menu, couples tasted each others drinks and families dispersed hot chocolate to waiting children. I get my coffee, ask where those decorations in the window came from –– because they are huge and for no reason I find myself wanting one –– and head back out into the bitter cold to cross the street to Rockefeller Center.

I don't like change.

I like tradition. When I go to Rockefeller Center every Christmas –– and I've only missed it once since was was 3, it's a long story but I was in Seattle and didn't get back –– but every time I go I get something to drink at the coffee shop around the corner, then I brave the bitter winter cold and watch the skaters with the Rockefeller Center Tree sparkling above them.

So when I saw Addison standing off to the side of the rink, drink in hand, staring off into the distance at the skaters and the lights behind them…

I was struck dumb for a moment. After a moment I realized that that woman that I was staring at on the left hand side of the rink had short hair, but that flash of doubt lasted only a second until she lifted her cup to her lips and took a sip. I don't know what it was that confirmed who she was, maybe it was that she seemed lonely. Maybe it was because I'd spent 20 years watching her sip mulled cranberry cider while she slowly froze at Rockefeller Center because she wasn't wearing appropriate footwear. I knew the stance and the barely perceptible shiver.

I still don't know why I went over. Maybe it was because I knew she knew I was here and I didn't like that she was avoiding me. Why else would she be standing on the wrong side of the rink? You can't properly see the tree from over there. She must have known that I was on the acceptable side and she didn't want to risk running into me and having to talk to me.

So I went over.

XXXX

It was 8:37 on the evening of December 23rd, the Eve of Christmas Eve, in New York City.

Derek Shepherd moved purposely around the border of the ice rink at Rockefeller Center towards his ex-wife who was serenely watching the skaters skate round and round.

"Addison?"

She stiffened and turned slowly, "Derek? What are you doing here?"

He shrugged and turned so they were both facing the skaters instead of each other, "Last minute shopping."

"Me too," she added quickly.

"Going to your parents?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah."

"You're alone?" He looked around as if someone would suddenly appear.

"Huh?" She frowned for a moment, "Oh. Yes. Just me. I mean, he had to work, and my parents wanted me to come home for the… his names Kevin, I don't know if I ever… told you that."

"No."

"He's a cop."

"Ah," Derek nodded and took a sip of his coffee. He waited for Addison to get up the nerve to ask about Meredith, he knew she was curious but that she didn't want to bring it up.

"So, your mom must be glad you're home."

"She is."

"Is… everyone going to be there?"

"No. Everyone is at their in-laws this year. Kathleen's kids are with Peter so it's going to be pretty small this year."

"Kathleen and Peter spilt up?"

"Couple months ago."

"Wow. They're the last ones I would have… " She glanced quickly at him then back at the skaters, "Wow."

Derek nodded and took another sip of his coffee.

"So just Mom, Kathleen, you and Meredith then."

He shook his head, "Meredith didn't come."

"Oh," she couldn't bring herself to ask why and he didn't move to elaborate, "That's to bad. No one should miss Christmas in New York."

Derek grinned, "It's magical."

"I know," Addison smiled, "It just feels like Christmas here."

"It's freezing."

"Exactly," she smiled, "And there's snow. And sweaters. Cider," she held up her cup, "I love it here at Christmas."

"It was our season."

"Yeah," Addison chuckled, "But you just liked the egg nog and the sweets."

"You just liked the presents and the excuse to shop."

"You never complained on Christmas morning when you were opening all those presents that I spent hours shopping for. Or when your mother would thank you for the gift that I bought, wrapped and delivered to her."

"Yeah, but I can do that all myself online now," he laughed.

She swatted his arm, a smile on her face too.

"You should come over for dinner tomorrow night."

"Okay."

XXXX

I don't know why I did that.

As soon as the words came out of my mouth I was looking for a way to take them back.

And then she said '_okay'_.

OKAY. SHE SAID OKAY!

Then we stood there awkwardly for a moment, wondering what the hell we had just gotten ourselves into. She looked like she wanted to take back her 'okay'. Which was good because I wanted to take back the invitation.

XXXX

"Well, I should go," Derek took a step away.

Addison's eyes widened, and she looked at him, her eyes flashing wildly, "Yeah, me too."

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he walked backwards away from her.

"Uhuh," she nodded, looking more terrified by the second.

"Okay. Bye Addison."

"Bye."

XXXX

WHAT WAS THAT!

Oh my God, I'm going to have a panic attack in the middle of Rockefeller Center!

I just agreed to have Christmas Dinner with my ex-husband. Why would I do that?!

He was probably just asking to be polite and then I went and said 'yes'! Oh my God, what am I going to do? I can't go to his _house_ for _dinner_ on _Christmas Eve_! But I can't not go. And, oh my God I lied to him about having a boyfriend.

I need a plan.

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Okay, so there was the first chapter of what is going to be a short fic which will be resolved by the end of the Christmas season in their world and in mine.

Please Review.

And **Happy Addekmas!!!**


	2. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

SANTA IS COMING!!!!!!

Seriously. He's coming in like…. 4 sleeps!!!!

I'm not actually that hyper. I'm more like 'I seriously have to pack? Ugh I should do laundry. It's snowing, gross, I have to travel tomorrow.'

But Addekmas makes me happy.

Happy and like…. pine-y. I pine for them. *Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiines*

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Christmas Eve I woke up a little nervous.

The night before I'd driven home to Milford and I'd spent the whole drive trying to think of a solution to what I had deemed 'The Addison Thing'. I'd come up with nothing. My mother was still up doing last minute Christmas things when I walked in the door, but I had gifts to wrap so I went up to my room to take care of that, in hindsight I should have asked her advice. Mom would have known what to do, assured me that Addison would call and cancel and I wouldn't have to worry about accidently inviting her to dinner. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I'd invited Addison –– I might have been worried that she'd think of a plausible way to uninvited her.

So I sat silently in my room, wrapping presents, dreading the next day –– and realizing that I'd once again forgotten a gift for Nancy.

I finally decided to sleep on it and spent the next four hours tossing and turning, but not finding a solution.

Then, suddenly, it was morning. Christmas Eve.

XXXX

I wished I had a car. I took the train from the city to Westport and it just gave me way to much time to think. And worry: Should I bring a gift for his mother? She was the host after all. But if I brought one for her I should bring one for Derek. And I couldn't bring something for Derek and his mother and not bring anything for Kathleen. And what about all the nieces and nephews? They weren't going to be there, but they'd find out that I'd been there and I'm their aunt I couldn't just visit at Christmas and not bring them gifts.

I didn't understand how there was no etiquette rules for spending Christmas with your ex-in-laws. I thought surely this had happened to someone before and they'd figured out how it's suppose to work.

But then I realized that no, no one else could possibly manage to get themselves into this situation. This said Addison all over it.

And all I knew was that I had to find a way out of it.

XXXX

"Derek! _Derek!_"

"Huh?" Derek looked up from the potatoes he was peeling, "What?"

"I've been calling you for five minutes," she rasped.

Derek smiled, "What do you need mom?"

"What is going on with you," she smiled, "You are so distracted today."

"How's your throat?"

She waved him away, "I'm fine," she opened the oven door and started basting the turkey, "You've peeled enough potatoes. There's only 3 of us."

Derek dropped the peeler like it was on fire and backed away from the potatoes. "I need to go get another present!"

Evelyn glanced at him in confusion, "I thought thats what you were doing this morning."

"You really shouldn't be talking, Mom," Derek evaded, "I'll be back soon."

XXXX

"Unpacking?"

Addison looked around her childhood bedroom. She had clothing laid out on every surface, but nothing seemed appropriate. "Yeah. Just unpacking."

Her father stepped into her room and Addison paused a blouse in her hand, "We're glad you're home Addy-girl."

"Um okay," Addison turned back to her suitcase, "Thanks."

The phone rang.

Addison turned toward the door, her ears pricked.

Her father watched her curiously.

"Jock! Edward is on the phone!" Addison's mother's voice rang shrilly down the hall.

Addison's shoulders sagged and she tossed the blouse over the back of a chair.

"Your mother and I are going to Martha's for the evening. We would love it if you and your brother would join us."

Addison turned, "Maybe. It's tonight? At Martha's?"

"She'd love to see you."

"And she's an old friend of the family. It would be rude not to go," Addison bit her lip.

"Addison?" her father questioned.

Addison grinned, "I'll think about it."

"Okay," her father beamed, "I should take this call, but I'm so glad you're finally home."

"Um. Yeah. Thanks," Addison smiled awkwardly, "It's good to be back."

"I'll leave you to unpack," Jock Montgomery backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Addison sat down on the edge of her bed. She should have stayed in LA.

XXXX

I think my mother thought I was completely insane that whole day.

I was completely distracted. I went to the store 3 times for Cranberry sauce and brought back pie every time.

And every time the phone rang I thought it was Addison's calling to cancel.

XXXX

I had an excuse not to go. My parents invited me to the neighbors New Years Eve party and I convinced Archer to go to so I wouldn't be alone.

Then, just to prove how sadistic I can be when it comes to my love life; I faked sick, changed my clothes, _borrowed_ one of my dad's sports cars, and drove 40 minutes to the Shepherd's house for Christmas dinner.

XXXX

The doorbell rang.

Evelyn paused as she ladled gravy into the gravy boat and looked towards the front door in confusion.

"Who would that be?" Kathleen Shepherd-Brown stood from the table and moved towards the door.

"Addison," Derek blurted out.

Both women turned to him.

"I invited Addison," Derek sounded casual, but refused to meet their eyes, "We ran into each other in the city last night and I said she should stop by."

"Addison?" his mother rasped, her voice almost completely gone due to a lingering bout of bronchitis, "You invited…" she dropped her ladle and turned away.

"You invited your ex-wife? What the hell is wrong with you Derek?" Kathleen threw her hands up into the air.

The doorbell rang again.

"You better let her in," Kathleen said, throwing open a cupboard door, "So much for having a nice quiet adulterous-homewrecker-free meal."

"Kathleen!"

"If I wanted to spend Christmas Eve discussing divorce and how 'it just happened once' still _counts_ as _cheating_ I would be spending Christmas Eve with my _husband_ and our children."

Doorbell.

"Oh for Christ-sakes Derek let her in!"

Derek walked slowly to the front door, taking a deep breath before swinging it open.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Come on in," Derek stepped back and let her pass, "How was the drive?"

"It was good. Good driving weather."

"Good. Good," Derek forcefully removed his hands from his pockets, "Can I take your coat?"

"Umm, sure," Addison shrugged awkwardly out of her jacket releasing a rush perfume.

XXXX

I remember she smelled _really _good.

Between the perfume and Kathleen's attitude I already knew it was going to be a long night.

XXXX

I didn't think he was going to open the door. I thought that maybe he'd changed his mind and wasn't going to let me in.

The night might have gone smoother if he left me out in the cold.

XXXX

"So you're in LA now?" Kathleen asked dully as she stabbed at her peas.

"Yeah," Addison nodded, "I love it. You should come visit some time."

"Oh yeah. Maybe I'll bring Peter. LA is the adulter's capital of north America isn't it? Actually that would be great, we could go down there, get one of your fancy west coast divorce lawyers… you guys can swap tips on how best to screw over your spouse."

"Kathleen!"

"It's fine Derek," Addison smiled at him, "The holidays are hard. Remember last Christmas?"

"You didn't talk to me the whole time."

"You didn't deserve conversation," she smiled.

He chuckled.

XXXX

Kathleen wanted to kill me. Of that I am certain. I think she had a plan to take me out back to show me something and then kill me. I think she envisioned stringing me up a tree by my neck for sleeping with my husband's best friend.

At that point I was thinking this was one of the stupidest things I'd ever done. Adultery included.

XXXX

Kathleen actually wanted to kill her. If looks could render people dead then Addison would've been on the floor. But, as always, she remained poised and stared at her fork until Mom mercifully changed the subject.

I was praying the whole time for God to help us all. This was a mistake.

And then Addison went and asked about Meredith.

XXXX

"It's to bad Meredith had to stay in Seattle."

Kathleen and Evelyn's heads shot up and Kathleen smirked.

"Derek…" Evelyn sighed.

Derek carefully wiped his mouth on the corner of his napkin, "Meredith and I are not currently pursuing a traditional relationship."

Addison dropped her fork, "Do _not_ tell me that you are still with that scrub nurse whatever her name is."

"No, as a matter of fact Meredith and I are… we are living together."

"You're living with her but you aren't… That was not the deal Derek," Addison's cheeks flushed, "We did not get divorced so you could shack up with her for convenient sex! I thought she was getting her act together! When I talked to her––"

"I'm working on it! I convinced her to let me move in didn't I? I'm working on getting rid of the roommates. But she's really attached to them!"

"You're living with Meredith and Steeven's?"

"And Karev."

"You're living with Alex?" she squeaked.

"Yeah," he looked at her oddly.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Just 'oh'," Addison picked up her fork and carefully stabbed a piece of turkey.

"_Oh?"_

"Who's Alex?" Kathleen asked.

"No one," Addison shrugged, her plate suddenly really fascinating.

Derek grunted and ripped apart a roll.

Addison glanced at him, searching his face carefully.

He glanced back at her, "So. You're dating a cop?"

Addison nodded but couldn't bring herself to break eye contact.

"He couldn't come?"

"He had to work."

"Meredith wanted to spend Christmas with her friends. They're like family to her."

"My dad wanted me to come home."

Derek nodded, "You should be with your family at Christmas."

"Yeah."

"Yeah," Kathleen agreed, her lip trembling.

Evelyn reached over and patted her daughters hand.

"I'm going to clean up," Kathleen snatched up Derek's plate and bolted for the kitchen.

"I'll help her," Evelyn stood and reached for Addison's plate, "Are you done?"

Addison nodded, then turned to Derek.

He leaned back in his chair, completely at a loss for what they were suppose to do next. "Do you want to see the tree?"

XXXX

I think it was the tree that changed things.

XXXX

Don't listen to him. It wasn't the tree.

XXXX

"So you and Alex?"

"You caught that huh?"

"I caught that," Derek took a sip of the wine that they had carried with them from the dinning room. "Is that why you left?"

"No," Addison smiled and stretched her feet out towards the fire, "But he certainly made it easier."

"So you left because of me?" Derek turned towards her. He rested his elbow on the seat of the couch they were leaning against and propped his chin up on his palm.

"No, I left because of Mark."

"Because of Mark?" he chuckled.

"Oh yeah," Addison picked up her wine glass, "He was driving me crazy."

"He was in love with you."

"Yeah. And it was really annoying. It was _Mark._"

"Come on. He was your friend."

"My friend yeah. But that was never going to work. 'Mommy? How did you and Daddy meet?' 'Well little Timmy and Sally, Mommy was married to a wonderful man and then one day Mommy was having a bad day and Daddy showed up and he's very charming and sweet when he wants to be, and I was stuck with him 'cause he was my _friend_.'"

"That's a beautiful story."

"Yeah well..." Addison drained her glass, "At least I'm not living with a bunch of co-ed's," she pointedly raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. That didn't exactly work out like I was expecting."

"Those damn kids."

Derek chuckled again, "I get it. She's young. But yeah, it's definitely not what I was expecting. Turns out I was old and settled in my ways and I'm finding it very hard to adjust to _that _lifestyle again."

"You don't like changed."

"You changed your hair and I like it."

"No you don't," Addison teased.

"No. I don't," he smiled and looked away.

"Oh," Evelyn stepped into the room, "Addison I didn't know you were still here. Why are you sitting on the floor?" She stepped over Derek's legs, "Kathleen slipped out the back, she said to wish you a Merry Christmas," She set a plate of cookies and a tall glass of milk on the coffee table in front of them, "For Santa," she told them.

Derek and Addison exchanged a look.

"Well I'm off to bed," Evelyn stepped closer to the door, "Addison, it was nice to see you again, Derek, I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night Evelyn."

"Night Mom."

Derek and Addison sat in silence a few moments.

"I didn't realize it was so late," Addison sighed and looked at the clock on the mantel.

"Do you want more wine?"

"I probably shouldn't."

"You want the milk and cookies don't you?"

"Yes." She laughed as he passed her the plate, "Do you want one."

"Yes."

"You know, I really should go," Addison sighed and took a bite out of her cookie, "It's after 12 and I have to drive back to Westport."

"Well, at least finish your cookie and drink some milk."

"I was going to. I love your mom's cookies," Addison smiled, "I was also thinking of throwing a couple in my purse for the ride home."

"As long as you leave some for Santa," he said, standing and helping her to her feet, "Are you okay to drive?"

"Derek, I didn't have_ that_ much wine," she smirked and then groaned as she took another bite of a cookie, "This is _so _good."

"I know, but it's late," he glanced out the window, "And snowing."

"I'll be fine," she crossed the room to the hallway and opened the closet door to retrieve her coat, "I'll drive carefully."

"Okay," he helped lift the heavy winter coat over her shoulders, then reached past her for his own, "I'll walk you to your car."

They walked in silence, their feet crunching in the light layer of snow covering the walkway.

"It's cold," she observed.

"It's winter."

She laughed as they stopped beside her car. They stood silently for a moment listening to the snow fall. "I got you something," she said finally.

"I got you something to," he panicked, "It's in the house, I'll go get it."

"No, it's okay. You didn't have to get me anything."

"No. Wait here. I'll be right back," he dashed back into the house, returned moments later with a small box clutched in his hands, "It's gloves."

She laughed, "Thanks," she pressed her own gift into his hands, "So is yours."

"Guess we just ruined Christmas morning didn't we."

"I ruined yours out of spite," she grinned. Her smile turned wistful and she looked up at him, "Thank you for inviting me."

"I'm glad you came."

"I almost didn't."

They stood close together, the snow falling around them and their breath fogging up the air between them.

"You should come over tomorrow," Addison blurted out to fill the silence, "For Christmas dinner."

"Okay," Derek agreed just as quickly.

They continued to stand there, in silence, unable to break the gaze between them.

"I should go," she whispered breathlessly.

"Okay," his eyes flickered unconsciously down to her lips, then back up to her eyes.

"Okay," she stepped away, their eyes stilled locked, and slid into her car.

XXXX

And just like that we were back to where we were the night before. Only this time I had accepted an invitation to Christmas Dinner that I probably shouldn't have.

And she's right. It wasn't the tree, it was the moment by the car.

XXXX

Definitely the moment by the car.

XXXX

The house was completely dark as Addison drove up. She parked the car as silently as possible and pressed the door closed without making a sound. Doing the same with the heavy front door she immediately slipped out of her shoes and padded silently across the front foyer to the stars.

"Sneaking in pass curfew?"

Addison groaned, "Did Dad and Busy realize I was gone?"

"Well, Busy wasn't noticing much of anything at that point and Dad was pretty wiped just from, you know, being in her presence all night, so they both went straight to bed. I of course stayed up to have a night cap with my little sister, but found her to be... missing." He held out a glass of clear liquid.

"What is it?" she asked, accepting it anyway.

He shrugged, "Where were you?"

"Nowhere."

"At one o'clock in the morning?"

"Old friend from school?"

"Who?"

"Melanie."

"Really? 'Cause I saw Melanie at Martha's party tonight. She said to say hi."

"Right," Addison nodded, "I saw her after that. She left early and then we met for coffee."

"Coffee?" Archer asked in surprise, "Where did you find coffee this late at night?"

"The gas station out by the interstate."

"They have coffee?"

"Yeah."

"Archer?"

Addison turned towards the staircase.

"Oh. Hey Addison. I heard you were back in town."

"Hi. Melanie," Addison said through gritted teeth

"Archer? Are you coming back?" Melanie asked wrapping his shirt tighter around her.

"Yeah. Addison was just telling me about her evening." He smiled at his sister as she glared at him.

"I thought you weren't feeling well."

"I thought so too," Archer smirked.

"I'm going to bed now," Addison put down her glass down with a thud, then turned on her heel and marched up the stairs, "Nice seeing you Melanie."

"Yeah. You too. We should go out for coffee before you go back."

"Yeah," Addison nodded as she disappeared from sight, making it more then obvious that they would _not_ be going out for coffee.

"Where was she?" Melanie asked as she descended the rest of the stairs and tilted her head at Archer.

"I don't know. Let's get back to bed."

XXXX

I had a really hard time falling asleep that night.

I had this weird feeling in my stomach that at that point I was still blaming on the dressing.

I had a good time that night. I liked spending time with Derek's family. I missed how Kathleen could be so completely the opposite of what any good psychologist should be. I missed the way that Derek would roll his eyes every time she spoke. I even missed the way that Evelyn would hide the wine until we were ready to sit down and eat.

But that night I still wasn't ready to admit I was still in love with him.

XXXX

It was after 3 by the time I finally made my way up to bed that night. I sat by the tree and stared at the lights for awhile. I started reading a book. I even watched the Yule Log on TV for awhile and the last 37 minutes of _A Christmas Story_.

I was so restless.

I was _plagued_ by thoughts of Addison and her new hair. I really didn't like it, I don't like change and Addison has always had long hair… long red kinda wavy hair…

But I felt good about having her there. I had someone on my side if my family decided to gang up on me. I knew she'd still be on my side.

But I wasn't ready to admit that I missed her. Not yet.

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All I have to say is that while all this is going on Meredith is just like… *crickets*.

**Review** if you want to be on my nice list (which is actually the naughty list which is _way_ sexier).


	3. Christmas With You is the Best

Yeah. January 8th and I'm writing Christmas fic! I'm doing well, if I go the same rate as my other fic I'll be writing NYE by Valentines day. Don't worry, I like writing this fic. There's kissing.

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I don't really remember anything about Christmas morning. I know I opened gifts with my mom and called my sisters –– but I don't remember any of it. I know I tried to call Meredith but the line was busy. That's all I really remember about the morning.

I got a great pair of gloves. I remember that.

XXXX

I spent Christmas morning trying to decide how to tell my parents that my ex-husband would be joining us for Christmas dinner that afternoon. I had a feeling that as soon as I said that Derek was coming over Archer was going to figure out where I'd been the night before and say something.

But it was either that or cancel.

XXXX

Addison carefully released a curl from around the curling iron and watched it bounce into place. She had three more curls to go.

"Ms. Montgomery?"

Addison turned to the door.

"The phone is for you," An older woman in a crisp white apron held out the phone, "It's Dr. Shepherd."

"Oh," Addison blushed, "Wait. Dotty, I thought you weren't coming in until 2."

The housekeeper smiled, "It's a quarter to 3," she pressed the phone into Addison's hand, "Should I set another place at the table."

"If you wouldn't mind," Addison smiled, "And if you want to tell my parents to…"

"I just take care of the food and the table settings," Dotty teased, "Anything else you want to bring to the table is up to you."

"Maybe he can't make it," Addison sighed and hit the 'talk' button on the handset, "Hello?"

"Hey. Do your parents know I'm coming?"

"Um. No…"

"Okay. I'll take the back way in then. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Addison stared at the now silent phone, then back to her reflection in the mirror. She had some curls to finish.

Five minutes later she was slipping down the stairs, shoes in hand and still adjusting the hem and neckline of her dress. She entered the kitchen just as Derek knocked on the thick wooden kitchen door.

"I'll get it!" she squeaked, trying to keep her balance as she put on her shoes. She smoothed her hair down one more time and took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. "Hello."

"Merry Christmas," Derek stepped through the door and hesitated a split second before kissing her cheek.

"Merry Christmas," Addison stepped back in an attempt not to blush, "I hope your mother doesn't mind that I stole you away on Christmas day."

Derek shrugged, "There are so many people at the house she'll barely notice I'm gone," he held out a bottle of red wine, "I assumed Busy still drinks red."

"My mother enjoys anything that has been properly fermented."

"Dotty! Dotty!" The door to the kitchen flew open and Busy Montgomery bustled in, "Do we have any of those little pastries left over from last night. They were so good and Jock and I are feeling a little peckish–– Derek?" she stopped suddenly, "Oh! It's so good to see you!" she immediately embraced him, "Oh is that for me?" she took the wine from his outstretched hand, "Oh you sweet boy."

Derek grinned, he loved his excitable former mother-in-law, "I just stopped by to say Merry Christmas. I didn't know Addison was home. It was a pleasant surprise."

"Oh, thats so sweet. Well you have to stay for Christmas dinner. Addison won't mind, do you honey? Dotty, set another seat for Derek, he's going to join us for dinner," she smiled happily at Derek, "Oh I need to go tell Jock. He'll be so happy to see you."

Derek smiled as Busy swept from the room, "See how well that worked out?"

"You just played my mother."

"I did," Derek confirmed as he moved to the door leading out to the hallway and the rest of the house, "Somehow I don't think I'll be so lucky with your father. And I forgot how often your mother says 'oh'."

"She does that when she likes someone. Notice she never does it around me."

"You're mother likes you," Derek smiled at her and held open the door leading to the living room.

"My mother liked that I married _you. _Imagine how she feels about me now," Addison smiled back as she passed.

"Well. I like you."

XXXX

I like her.

And I said, out loud, that I like her.

That's why everything else happened.

Because I like her.

XXXX

Okay, that's not why it happened. And what does that even mean 'everything else'? We are talking about Christmas dinner with my parents. And what happened at Christmas dinner did not happen because he said he liked me. It didn't hurt, but thats not why it happened.

It happened because I decided that I had nothing to loose. I didn't have a boyfriend anymore, I grudgingly still had feelings for Derek, and the fact that he was in a weird complicated relationship with Meredith really wasn't my problem.

It's not because he said he likes me.

XXXX

"Derek," Jock Montgomery greeted him, "This is a surprise."

"It is," Derek agreed.

"You came to see Addison?"

"I had no idea she had come east for Christmas. Apparently she's agrees that the West coast doesn't have the same charm."

"Apparently," Jock looked at his daughter.

"It's not really Christmas without snow," Addison shrugged, "Can I get anyone a drink?"

"I'm fine Addy-girl," Jock smiled at her.

"I'll have some of that lovely wine Derek brought," Busy smiled, "Where is Archer?"

"In bed?" Addison splashed some wine in a glass and handed it to her mother.

"Addison," her mother gave her a pointed glare.

Addison shrugged and returned to the bar cart for a drink for herself.

"Hows business?" Jock asked Derek.

"Steady. I'll never run out of work," Derek smiled, "But Seattle has a good team. Good opportunities there. And a competent staff that can take over when I go home for Christmas."

"If only you had that in New York," Jock smiled, "You wouldn't have had to go to Seattle at all."

"Dad!" Addison exclaimed.

Derek stared down at his shoes for a moment. "Do you still have a kids tree? I'd love to see it."

"I'll show you," Addison glared at her father, picked up the bottle of wine and a glass and stormed from the room.

"I'm sorry," Derek apologized as soon as they were out of earshot.

"No, I'm sorry. My father doesn't know what he's talking about."

"But he's right. I should have been home more."

"Derek," Addison pushed the door to the den open, "There are a lot of things we both should have done different. But there is nothing we can go about it now," she crossed the room to the tree, "This tree makes me uncomfortable," she barely looked at it, focusing all her attention on pouring wine into her glass.

"Why?" Derek watched her take a sip.

"Because it makes us seem like a family that we aren't. Like my parents are the kind of people that care about the Christmas ornaments that I made when I was 8. Instead of caring whether or not the ribbon on the tree clashes with the throw pillows in the next room."

Derek watched her, "Have you always been this sad?" he asked her seriously.

She smiled, "No. Not always. I was happy this morning when I opened the gloves you gave me."

"You liked them?"

"They were the perfect shade of brown. I'm hoping for lots of cold California mornings."

"So you got everything you wanted for Christmas?"

Addison watched him intently, "Almost."

"Almost?" he asked, his breath catching in his throat.

"Yeah," she breathed, then leaned in and kissed him.

XXXX

It was all me. I flirted, then I kissed him. And it was a good kiss. I am a good kisser. He's not to bad either. So when we kiss each other it's pretty good. Really good. It's really really good.

XXXX

She's a good kisser. What else do you want me to say?

XXXX

She didn't touch him right away, she just kissed him. He didn't push her away so she stepped into him and ran her hands slowly up his chest and around his neck.

His hands tentatively touched her sides, low on her hips. He didn't push her away, he didn't pull her closer, he just held her where she was and let her kiss him.

She moved to pull away, she pressed her lips a little lighter against his, teasing his upper lip a little and lingering like she was going to stop. His hands flexed against her, tightening for just a second.

She tilted her head the other way, and kissed him again. She moved closer and kissed him harder and sighed when he kissed her back.

His hands left her hips to rest on her shoulders, rubbing gentle circles against her skin before tilting his lips away from hers.

"It's complicated," his hands continued to rub circles over her shoulders, "But we're still together."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, but she didn't step away.

"It would be a bad idea –– for us –– to do that."

"Why?"

He looked her in the eye, "You know why."

XXXX

I know why. Cause we might not have stopped and it would have made things complicated. But that didn't really work, did it. It still got complicated.

XXXX

It was a bad idea. I maintain that it was a bad idea. She –– as usual –– didn't listen.

XXXX

"Dotty," Busy Montgomery signaled, "Could you pass around the collection plate, please."

"Mom," Archer rolled his eyes.

"You know the rules, Archer." Busy nodded and Dotty moved around the table collecting cell phones and pagers. Derek and Addison, surprisingly not complaining.

"Grace?" Jock Montgomery looked around the table at his family. His son was slouched comfortably in his seat watching his sister with a lock Jock couldn't quite read, his wife sat opposite to him studiously removing the wrinkles from the folded napkin on her plate, and his daughter and her ex-husband staring at their laps. "Shall we join hands?"

"Dad," Addison shook her head but didn't look up.

"I think it would be something nice that we could do as a family, together, united."

"Addison," Busy warned.

"Since when have we ever done anything _united as a family_?"

"We are doing it now," Jock replied firmly. He held out his hands on either side of him, nodding to Busy who after a moment did the same. Reluctantly everyone followed suit. Jock cleared his throat, "Our Heavenly Father, we gather here as a _family_ to celebrate the birth of your son and to give thanks for all that you have provided us. We thank you especially for the love that is present in our lives and we pray for your continued guidance and protection in the coming year. We pray that you give us strength to endure the hardships that life brings, and the wisdom not to repeat the errors of our past. Amen."

"Amen," the rest of the family repeated, hastily reclaiming their hands and restoring all senses of personal space.

"So Derek," Archer casually began, "You just dropped in?"

"I was in the neighbourhood."

"Ahh," he nodded, "I'm sure Addison's glad she's feeling better. She was feeling a bit under the weather last night."

Derek shot Addison a look.

"I had a bit of a headache," Addison lied, glaring at her brother.

"You're family has Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve don't they?" Archer asked.

"Archer," Addison broke in, "Shut up."

"Addison," her mother exclaimed.

"Elizabeth," Jock shook his head at his wife wanting her to stay out of the children's disagreement.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Dotty spoke from the doorway, "I'm sorry, your cell rang. A Ms. Grey?"

"Yeah," Derek jumped up from the table leaving everyone in silence, "Hello? –– Hey. Yeah. Merry Christmas. –– Having Christmas dinner. –– I'm having it again. With… friends. –– Okay. –– Yup. You too. Bye." Derek handed back the phone and returned to the table.

"So, seeing anyone Derek?" Archer continued to provoke.

"Archer!" Addison dropped her fork, "Dad!"

"Addison," her father replied calmly, "Your brother is making conversation."

"Maybe I should go," Derek offered.

"No no," Busy assured him, "They are just forgetting they aren't teenagers anymore."

"Oh to be teenagers again," Archer smiled slyly, "Sneaking out for secret rendez-vous…"

"I hate you!" Addison raged. She pushed her chair back from the table, threw down her napkin, and left.

Busy Montgomery shook her head, "She's been so testy since she broke up with –– what's his name? The cop –– Kevin," she took a bite of her turkey and a small sip of wine, "I don't know what to do with her."

Derek put down his fork, firmly, and wiped his mouth, "I'm going to go. Thank you for inviting me. Merry Christmas."

XXXX

Worst Christmas dinner _ever._

That's a shared sentiment. We don't both need to say it.

XXXX

"So that was fun," Derek glanced up at the sun as her spoke into his reclaimed cell phone.

"You left?"

"You got your phone back."

"I've been using it to get my flight moved up."

"You want out?"

"I'm half packed."

They lapsed into silence, Derek pacing beside his car. "It was good seeing you Addison."

"Yeah. You too," she paused before saying his name, "Derek."

"Bye."

"Bye."

He looked up at the sound of a sharp knock on glass.

She waved.

He waved back.

XXXX

I thought this would be the last time I'd see her for awhile. Turns out I was wrong.

XXXX

I knew I'd at least hear from him soon.

What? I'm a really good kisser.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You know what's depressing? There is no little 'new' symbol beside _The Office_ on the NBC line-up tonight. Now I have to watch new _Kath and Kim _and new _30 Rock_ with no new _The Office_ in between. I might watch ER too… cause it's also _new_ and it's the last season and there is no point in quitting now.

Okay. _Kath and Kim_ time. I love those trashy bitches.

Review. I know they won't be having Christmas in New York anymore, but I think I can write these two into the new year.


	4. Auld Lang Syne

Okay. So it's no longer Christmas, and they aren't in New York, but, you know… they are still harboring residual holiday feelings. And New Years usually makes a person sentimental over all the things that went down in the last year.

And I like Addek fluff. And I made it as fluffy as I could.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So I went back to LA. I unpacked my bags, I went grocery shopping, and I wandered around work. I wish more women would give birth between Christmas and New Years, I was really bored that week. I actually sat at my desk with a calender for awhile and tried to figure out why there weren't more babies being born. The best I came up with was that in order to be born that week then most of them would have to have been conceived the first week of april and people must have been busy spring cleaning. On the other hand, right now I don't have anything better to do then have sex (coincidentally, just say I was having sex and through some sort or birth control mishap ended up pregnant, I'd be due the first week of August which is my busiest month –– I'm just saying, clearly everyone else has sex this week) but my boyfriend left me so I guess I'll be free the month of August. Do you see how bored I am?

XXXX

It rained 2 inches in the 4 days I was away from Seattle. These are the important details that my girlfriend caught me up on when she picked me up from the airport. Oh and Izzie bought her a bread maker for Christmas (Meredith felt that Izzie bought _herself_ a bread maker and put her name on it, but since Meredith had bought Izzie a high powered blender perfect for making large batches of margarita's…), and she had to work in a hour so she was just going to drop me off at home and she'd see me in about 12 hours. So I went home, did some laundry, then went to the hospital to wait for a head injury to fall into my lap. It only took 20 minutes.

XXXX

"I'm thinking of having a party."

"Oh yeah?"

"For New Years. You free?"

"Yeah I'm free. You're really having a party?"

"Yeah," Addison flipped her notebook over to a blank sheet of paper and wrote Naomi's name, "That's one. Sam?"

"Of course."

"Pete. Violet. Cooper," Addison wrote down the names of her colleagues, "Charlotte?"

"Better ask Coop. What about Del? And Heather maybe?"

"Okay," Addison nodded, her lips pursed together, "That's really all the people I know in LA. That's sad."

"No. It's fine. You don't want to many people, it just gets messy. What you have is fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean think of it this way, you have what, 8 people? You'll only have to buy 15 bottles of wine."

"15 bottles of wine? For 8 people?"

"Well I'm assuming a couple people will bring wine as a hostess gift," Naomi grinned, "But don't worry, we can get more just in case."

XXXX

"I'm thinking of having a party."

"Oh yeah?" Derek stretched in bed, then rolled over and buried his face in a pillow.

Meredith pushed her feet into a pair of flats and plopped herself down on the edge of the bed. She laughed and patted his bare back, "Don't worry. I'll ask Cristina and Alex to help me," she leaned over and kissed his shoulder, "I'll see you at work."

"I can help," Derek protested weakly, "I can call caterers and sample wine."

Meredith laughed, "Caterers? I'm going to grab some chips and crackers, Izzie will make some dip and I'll make sure I have enough cash on hand to order pizza. Cristina will handle the music, Alex will get the alcohol. Party's planned."

"Okay," Derek shrugged, "Let me know if you change your mind."

XXXX

"Nae? Are you busy this afternoon?"

"I'm booked solid. Why?"

"Party stuff. Do you know a good caterer?"

"Rolodex," Naomi pointed but didn't look up,

"So I guess you don't have time to go wine tasting."

"No Sorry," Naomi paused, then grinned slowly and looked up, "You should take Violet."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

XXXX

I was married for just shy of 12 years. Excluding the wedding which I actually didn't mind helping with, I avoided all types party planning for my entire marriage.

Actually, I tried to avoid helping with party planning but my wife seems to be under the impression that party planning is an activity that must be done in pairs.

My wife seemed … not seems. I meant that in the past tense.

XXXX

Violet and small glasses of wine is like a party in itself. Usually when I'm planning a party I have an idea of what I want, I try two or three bottles of red and two or three of white and I get the two I like best. Plus, I used to take Derek, just in case, so he could drive.

Violet thinks you should try all the wine so that you can make an informed decision. _All the wine._ And she thinks that you should visit several places cause they all offer something different. Apparently she used to date a really boring wine connoisseur. She knows her wine but she picked up some bad habits. Like over drinking at vineyards.

After the third winery we had to start taking cabs. Then we ended up so far out of town with so much wine that we had to call Pete to come pick us up. During rush hour. On a Tuesday. We were drunk to the point that we couldn't stop laughing and couldn't balance at 4 o'clock on a Tuesday.

Did I mention that Pete couldn't wait to drop me off and get Violet home? Yeah. Now I remember why I used to take Derek with me. Plus, I spent my evening being hungover with the sunset shinning in my eyes.

XXXX

… _**I found you one day with a mouth full of attitude, **_

_**And you stole me away, **_

_**you stole me away, **_

_**I`ve left my heart to you, but it`s not fair… **_

"This is a great party," Mark replied dryly over the loud music that was pumping through the house.

"How long before someone starts singing with a lampshade on their head?"

"Not long," Mark glanced around Meredith's New Year's Blowout, "Is anyone working tonight? I think the whole hospital is here. I think I discharged that guy yesterday."

"Yeah, he probably shouldn't be drinking then."

"What can you do. You send them out on their own and hope for the best."

"Addison cut her hair."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. It's short."

"Look good?"

Derek shrugged noncommittally and ambled away to get another drink.

"Hey. When did you see Addison?"

XXXX

"We walk in, we hear something in the kitchen, Kevin draws his gun, which was… hot. And it's my _brother_ having _sex_ on the linoleum in the kitchen."

The group bursts out laughing, even though most –– okay all –– of them have already heard the story.

Someone reaches for a bottle of wine and tops up everyones wine glass.

"Addison these appetizers are so good," Violet eats another, then held one out to Cooper who was eyeing the food.

"I had to try a lot of salmon spread before I found that," Addison held up her glass in a silent cheers to salmon spread then took a sip, "But can we stop standing around my kitchen and maybe go into the living room where I spend hours cleaning and arranging food?"

"But the crab cakes," Cooper grabbed another off the tray.

"There are more in the living room. Grab a bottle and lets go."

XXXX

"I'm hungry," Derek picked at some chips and dip, "Is no one else eating?"

"Everyone else is drunk. They all ate pasta and bread before they came over to soak up the alcohol. They don't have time for chips and onion dip," Mark scooped up some dip and popped it in his mouth, "You know who can throw a party? Addison. Just the food alone. And the decor, all candles and dimmed lights. Man. She could throw a party."

"I'm hungry."

XXXX

–– You should have come to my party. We had food. We had salmon spread.

–– In hindsight, yes, I should have gone to your party.

XXXX

It was approaching Midnight. Addison moved around the room replacing everyone wine with champagne –– Naomi, Sam, Violet, Pete, Cooper and Charlotte; Dell hadn't been able to come –– and turning down the music. She found the ball drop on TV and turned up the volume, then stepped back into the huddle of her friends.

_10_

_9_

_8_

_7_

_6_

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

_Happy New Year!_

It was in that moment that Addison realized.

Sam kissed Naomi.

Cooper kissed Charlotte.

Violet kissed Pete.

And Addison had no one.

She took a deep breath, turned on her brightest smile, and turned towards Naomi for the second round of kisses.

XXXX

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

_Happy New Years!_

Meredith turned to Derek, looping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips, "Happy New Years Derek," then she was gone, enveloped into a bubble of her friends.

Derek stood there a minute longer, shaking a few hands, wishing people the best in the New Year, then escaped out to the back deck. He dialed his phone slowly, knowing she wasn't going to answer.

"Hello?" But she did answer.

"You know that song?"

Addison smiled, "What song?"

"Auld Lang Syne. I can hear people singing it on your end."

"Naomi. She's had some wine and champagne and she's feeling festive."

"Do you think we should forget?"

"Forget what?"

"Our past. Our _auld_ acquaintances."

"I think the song is saying that we shouldn't."

"But maybe the song is wrong. Maybe it would be easier if we forgot and made a clean break. Wouldn't it be easier?"

Addison sat down on the bottom step of her deck and pressed her heels into the sand as she thought, "I think," she replied finally, "it would be lonelier if we forgot."

"Maybe."

"If you forget then you'll forget the good times too, and I don't want to forget the good times. I don't want you to forget them either, Derek," the last part was spoken rather sternly.

He chuckled, "Okay," he wandered out further into the yard, "What are you doing?"

"I had a little party. I'm taking a break now, out on the beach."

"You're at the beach?"

"I live on the beach," she smiled.

"Do you have salmon spread at this party?"

"I do," she laughed.

"How long of a drive is it from Seattle to LA anyway?"

"Mmm, maybe a day? Probably a little less."

"That's a long way to drive for salmon spread."

"It really is," she laughed again, "I'm glad you called, Derek. I was… I was just thinking about you."

"Well, you know," Derek shrugged, "I'm at a frathouse New Years Eve party. And I had to ask someone about that song."

"I'm glad I could help."

They fell silent for a few moments.

"Go back to your party," he instructed finally.

"Okay," she grinned, "Happy New Years."

"Happy New Years Addison."

She snapped her phone shut, her face breaking out into a huge grin.

"Who was on the phone?"

Addison turned and flushed, a small smile still on her face, "No one. My mother. Just wishing me a happy New Years."

Naomi looked at her skeptically as Addison passed her, "Did you just booty call Kevin on New Years Eve? Addison that is so tacky," she followed her into the house, "Well, done."

XXXX

It's the only New Year's Eve that we ever spent apart. And I missed him. I missed having someone to smile at and kiss at midnight. It means more when you're with someone. It's magical.

No one should start the New Year without someone to kiss. Not even me.

XXXX

It's not the kiss. It's that few seconds when it's just the two of you. That second between one year and the next and knowing that you are starting it together. You know? And then that soft little kiss just launches you into the New Year, but you're doing it together.

I didn't start the New Year like that this time. My girlfriend kissed me because that's what you do when the ball drops. It wasn't magical. It wasn't what it was suppose to be.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So now, we have to figure out a relationship for these two. I don't know how they'd feel about a long distance relationship, I think they'd hate it.

But what else do you do? They live in different states. It's a long drive. I google mapped it.

Review please. I need to know if I'm doing this at all even remotely right.


	5. Do You Hear What I Hear

So very rarely do I post something without showing it to someone first. But it seems that everyone is either dead or has been pulled into some sort of hell dimension.

Anyway, I think this fic is almost done. Unless something unforeseen happens. I know that I'm the author and I should be in charge, but I'm really not so sometimes the unforeseen happens. Kinda like my other fic which I'm trying to write the last chapter of and it keeps getting longer and longer and now I have to divide it into at least 3 parts but since I didn't write it in order I can't post anything cause the unforeseen keeps happening.

My point is that this fic only has one or 2 chapters left. One of which includes a grand romantic gesture the likes of which I haven't decided on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I want to drink all the booze."

"Okay."

"And kiss boys. I want to drink all the booze and kiss all the boys."

Addison didn't look up from her computer, "Is it fleet week already?"

"You're funny. Let's out oooout."

Addison looked up.

"I need to dance. Nae-Nae needs to dance," Naomi leaned over Addison desk and fixed her with a serious look, "I know that we aren't the kind of women that define themselves by the men they're with, but Addison, we need men. We need _men_."

"I have plans."

"You have plans," Naomi repeated, she knew a brush off when she heard one.

"Yes," Addison continued to type even though she currently had more typo's then real words on her screen, but she couldn't stop and let herself get flustered.

"Like a date?"

"Like a date," Addison nodded and continued typing.

"What are doing?"

"Seeing a movie."

"Dinner."

"Mmmhmmm."

"What movie are you seeing?"

"I don't know yet."

"Kevin?"

"Nope."

"Hmmm," Naomi backed away slowly then paused, "Maybe we could go out after your date."

Addison finally looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" Naomi grinned then made for the door, "Well, okay then."

XXXX

"Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"No. Have fun."

"If you change your mind…"

"I rented a movie and I bought some beer. Mark might stop by later so we can hang out and be men. I'm looking forward to this."

"Drinking beer and being a man?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll be home around 12. And if you change your mind…"

"Go. Have fun."

"Okay," Meredith bent over the back of the couch and kissed his cheek, "I'll be at Joe's if you––"

"Get out," he laughed."

XXXX

We are rational intelligent beings. I know that when we talk about this next part it's not going to seem like we are rational and intelligent beings, but we are. It's just that a large part of our brain is taken up with medicine and how to save peoples lives and we don't always use the leftover parts of our brains … rationally.

I know. I know.

XXXX

I just want to say, before we get into this whole _thing_, that it wasn't suppose to end up like this.

It was completely innocent.

XXXX

"Food?"

"I ordered pizza."

"What kind?"

"Veggies and pineapple. What did you get?"

"Pizza."

Addison laughed, "What kind?"

"Meat lovers. With extra olives."

"Olives are made for martini's and nothing else."

Derek chuckled, "You ready?"

"Mmhmm," Addison leaned back on the sofa and turned on the speaker on her phone, "Go."

They both hit play on their remotes and settled back to watch the movie.

"Do you have wine?" Derek asked.

"Red."

"Your favorite."

"Mmmhmmm."

"What happened with Tess? Did you get that baby delivered?"

Addison turned and lay length ways on the couch and picked up the phone again, turning off the speaker, "It was amazing. On Tuesday I admitted her, took her to the OR and did a partial Caesarean birth. Derek, we kept the baby attached to his mother for 6 hours while we repaired his bowel. 6 hours!"

The movie was all but forgotten.

XXXX

"Are you asleep?"

Derek yawned, his eyes still closed, "No. I'm just resting my eyes," he smiled.

Addison smiled too. "You should go. It's after 11."

"DId you like the movie?"

Addison glanced at the blank screen, then at the half eaten pizza and half full glass of wine, "I thought it was kinda confusing."

"That's because you talked through the first hour."

"No. It's because you talked through the second hour."

Derek chuckled. They lapsed into silence, Derek fighting to keep his eyes open.

"Derek––"

"What about that new George Clooney movie?"

Addison was silent a moment, "What about it?"

"It looks pretty good."

"We've been doing this for a month."

Derek didn't reply.

"I'm not sure… Derek," she took a deep breath, "What are we doing?"

"I should go. Get this stuff cleaned up. It's getting late."

On the other end of the line Addison shook her head at the unanswered question, "Okay."

"We'll talk this week?"

"Mmhmm."

"Addison…"

"Derek," she shot back pointedly.

He sighed heavily, "Night."

"Good night."

XXXX

–– For the record, we didn't plan on doing that.

–– Doing what?

–– The movies. What happened was I was watching a movie on TV, and I sent him an e-mail because I had a question about a case and I thought that he might have a suggestion. ––

–– I thought you just missed me.

–– No. I really had a question.

–– How long did it take you to find a question that only I could answer?

–– About a week.

–– You're cute.

–– I e-mailed him because I had a question that only he could answer, then _he _emailed me back less then 5 minutes later and asked what was new.

–– I was being polite. _She_ e-mailed me first. She said she was watching a movie on TV and I liked the movie so I turned it on, so we e-mailed while we watched.

–– But then a few days later he sent me an e-mail to tell me that… something was on that night, I forget what. So I watched it. And in the middle he called me.

–– I did call her.

XXXX

"How was your date?"

Addison glanced up from her computer screen briefly, "Fine."

"Fine?" Naomi sat down across from her and raised an eyebrow, "Where did you go for dinner?"

"Papa Joe's."

"Pizza?" Naomi's eyes widened, "He took you out for pizza?" She was horrified.

"Uhuh," Addison clicked furiously at her mouse.

"And the movie?"

"Didn't really watch it," Addison shrugged, "I'd seen it before anyway."

"Really," Naomi grinned and got comfortable in her chair.

"Mmm… _damn it_," Addison sighed and turned away from her computer, Derek had just sunk her last battleship. "What?"

"Tell me about your date."

"Huh?"

"You're date? The movie you didn't watch."

"Oh," Addison cursed silently to herself, wishing she had been paying attention to this conversation, "We just talked. About work. It wasn't really a date."

"You talked? About work? During a movie?"

Addison flushed, "It wasn't a date."

"What's going on Addison?"

"Nothing," Addison stood and walked over to the door, "I'm hungry. Are there still apples in the kitchen?"

Naomi stood too and gave Addison a hard look, "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Naomi nodded, clearly a little hurt by Addison's evasiveness, "Okay." She passed by Addison and walked down the hall to her office without another word.

Addison watched Naomi disappear, then crossed back to her desk.

_Scrabble?_

She stared at the message on her screen for a moment, then smiled and reached for the keyboard. _Sure._

XXXX

"I once had a patient," Mark sat down in the chair across from Derek and put his feet up on another, "That didn't move from her bed for 5 years, and the materiel from her sheets and the mattress actually fused with her skin."

Derek looked up, "Really?"

"No. I saw it on TV. But, if you ever need me to surgically remove that Blackberry from your hand, I can do it."

Derek glanced down at the device in his hand.

"What are you doing on that thing all the time?"

Derek shrugged, "Playing games."

"Games?"

"Checkers," Derek flipped the phone around to show him the screen then turned it back and made his next move, "I've lost 7 times in a row."

"Why punish yourself? You'll never beat the computer."

"Huh?" Derek frowned, "Oh. Ya. Well, it's easier then Boggle. She kicked my ass at Boggle."

"Your Blackberry is a girl?"

"Huh?"

'Okay," Mark chuckled and stood up, "You have fun. Maybe someday I'll see you back on the floor."

"Huh? Yeah, okay," Derek dismissed him, he couldn't concentrate on the game with Mark talking.

The Blackberry beeped and a message appeared in the corner. _That was a stupid move_.

Derek chuckled and it beeped again.

_You can't win. Can we play Boggle now?_

XXXX

–– So that's how it started. Movies and computer games.

–– Completely innocent.

–– And it stayed completely innocent.

–– Until Valentines day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Let me just say, on the record, that online multiplayer games on yahoo are excellent ways to keep a long distance relationship alive.

Okay. You guys know the drill. You've read the chapter, now you have to write reviews so that I remember to keep writing this thing. And also remind me to write this grand romantic gesture, it seems like something I'd forget and instead I'd write Addison deciding that this is a stupid idea and then she'd start screening her calls and blocking his email.

Review.


	6. If We're in Love

It's the end. It's over.

OMG y'all. I had an Addek dream 2 nights ago. (Also I'm talking in a southern accent to bug my roommate). Ya, so my dream was like a trailer for the show. I don't know if it was a spin off, or if it was advertising that the show was going to be Addek now and all about them and their relationship. Anyway. I remember three parts of the dream trailer. The first was Addek kissing in an elevator… wearing work clothes and surgical gloves (it was a weird look… and they were both wearing short sleeves so it looked even weirder). The second part I remember was the cast of PrP pushing a gurney through the halls of a hospital singing, then passing the cast of Grey's and no one thought this was weird (I thought it was weird). And the last part is my favorite. You know in the opening credits for Grey's there is that shot of the gurney and you just see feet? Well it was kinda like that but there were two gurney's, and Derek and Addison where laying on their stomachs wearing scrubs and it looks like they were reading textbooks, you can only see their backs and the bottoms of their sneakers, but I'm assuming they're in med school cause Addison has really long hair that's pulled back in a very early 90's style scrunchie. Anyway, she leans over to his gurney and they kiss and over them is the name of the show and below them is some sort of tag line.

It was a good dream trailer.

Or maybe it was a premonition...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Violet walked into her office, turned on the lamp on her desk and moved to the window to open the blinds and let in the early morning light.

"Hi."

Violet jumped and spun around. Addison was sitting on the floor in front of the couch.

"I'm hiding."

"It's quarter to 6, who are you hiding from?"

"Naomi," Addison reached forward and pushed her offering of a fruit smoothie closer to Violet, "I've been doing something kind of stupid. If I see her I'm going to tell her."

Violet sat down across from her and crossed her legs under her. She took a sip of her smoothie, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Addison gave her a long look, then curled her nose in disgust and looked away, "I've been dating my ex-husband."

Violet set her drink down with a pronounced thud, "What?"

"I'm dating my ex-husband. Long distance."

"How?"

"We've been watching movies and talking. We play games online and e-mail each other a couple of times a day."

"But you aren't actually seeing each other. Right?"

"I kissed him."

"Oh God. Addison."

"We were both home for Christmas," Addison protested as if that made is ok.

"How does that matter?"

"I don't know," her hands began to flutter anxiously, "We had Christmas Dinner together, and I kissed him, and he kissed me back and now we are dating."

"Why are you telling me this?" Violet was starting to panic because Addison was starting to panic.

"Because she'll yell at me! I've been telling her I've been dating other people, not Derek!"

"Oh my god," Violet buried her face in her hands.

"But the problem is," Addison took a deep breath, "I don't know if Derek realizes we're dating."

"Oh my god," Violet repeated, "How could he not know?"

"He's living with the pint-sized home-wrecker."

"Oh my god," Violet looked at Addison in absolute horrification, "What do you expect me to do with this?"

"I don't know," Addison whined, "I just had to tell someone, it was starting to feel crazy."

"It is crazy. It's not just crazy in your head. It's actually, literally, on paper, diagnosabley crazy."

"So can I hide in your office?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

"On the condition that you never tell me anything ever again. I'm not cut out for this… girl stuff. From now on you come to me with daddy issues and repressed memories."

"Deal."

"Okay," Violet made a move to stand up, then paused, "How the hell do you do this to yourself?"

"I don't know. Do you think he'll be mad?"

"About what?"

"To find out he's dating me."

"He may be a little shocked, since he's living with someone else and divorced you a year and a half ago."

"That's true," Addison chewed on the nail of her index finger, "I should probably not tell him."

"You have to tell him."

Addison looked uncertain.

"Or you could block his email and start screening your calls."

"But then I wouldn't be able to talk to him," Addison whined.

"Get out," Violet pointed to the door, "Get out."

"I'm kidding," Addison protested as she rose to her feet.

"Out."

XXXX

I will admit to being kinda confused about our relationship at that point.

And I discovered that it's kinda fun to mess with Violet. I was confused but not stupid. Stupidity annoys Violet. So I was acting more stupid then confused.

Unfortunately later I got stupid and Violet was less interested in helping because I had messed with her earlier.

XXXX

"Don't you have plans?"

"I _plan_ to remove this tumour so that this kid can take the girl of his dreams to the prom."

"Don't you have plans for Valentine's Day?"

"Just dinner."

"I think that Meredith would argue the just dinner part. because It seems, from what I've heard, that you were suppose to take Meredith to dinner at 6, but since then you've scheduled a 5 hour surgery for 2. So Meredith has taken it upon herself to make other plans."

"I was going to change the reservation to 8."

"On Valentines day? You were just going to call up one of the best and most romantic restaurants in town that you made reservations at 3 months ago and just switch your reservation.," Mark states more then asks.

"Ah. No."

"No." Mark nodded in agreement, "Did you do that on purpose?"

"No! What?"

"You're bailing on her all the time. Oddly she doesn't seem to notice, but you cancel everything lately. You're turning into a homebody."

"A what?"

"A homebody, You cancel plans so you can hang out at home."

"I do not."

"You're going to be done here about, what, 9? 10 o'clock. Meredith will probably be out by then, so you'll sit at home alone and be anti-social."

Derek smirked, "I'm not anti-social."

"Do you have an online girlfriend?"

"What! NO!"

"You're always online. I caught you playing boggle."

"I like boggle."

"I would understand if you had an online girlfriend."

"Meredith's hot, but…"

Derek looked at him sharply, "But what?"

"Nothing man," Mark outright ended that thought right there, "I like Meredith. She's hot. Smart girl. Lots of fun."

Derek glared.

"Really it's you. She's awesome, you're just… relationship guy and she's spontaneous party girl. She could care less if you woo her. She could care less that you canceled the romantic dinner, I don't think she's into that stuff."

"She likes when I do that stuff."

"No, you like when you do that stuff, so she pretends to like it. And then she pulls it together and does something for you. It's a really sick cycle. The stuff that worked on Addison won't work with Meredith," Mark crossed his arms over his chest, "So. Do you have an online girlfriend?"

XXXX

You'd think I'd have started to piece things together right about then.

I did not.

XXXX

"This is shaping up to be a pretty lame Valentine's Day."

"Are you talking to yourself?"

"Hey, Naomi," Addison clenched her fists until her nails started to dig into her palms and she realized that that hurt.

"So, I know you probably have a date tonight––"

"I don't have a date tonight!" Addison broke in a suspiciously adamant fashion.

"Really? You always have a date lately."

"Well, I'm a desirable woman."

Naomi smirked, "I'm aware. So desirable yet plan-less friend of mine, what are we doing tonight, and does it involve alcohol?"

"Your evening very well might involve alcohol, but mine will involve sitting around waiting for my pager to go off. Stupid hospital with their stupid rules," she looked up to see Naomi looking at her in utter puzzlement, "I have a patient that needs a very necessary surgery but I can't use the OR unless she can get sixty-five thousand dollars wired by 8. So I'm either sitting here until 8 and then going over to console her and try to convince Charlotte to let me do it anyway, or I'm going to be up to my elbows in ovaries."

"Ew."

Addison shrugged, "It's the job. And I love my job." She sighed, "Honestly, the money isn't going to get wired and Charlotte won't let me do the surgery without it when everything will probably come together next week and I can do it then –– if it's not to late. I can meet you at 10."

"And we can go dancing?"

"We can go dancing," Addison agreed.

Then her pager went off.

"They got the money?" Naomi asked, a smile spreading across her face.

"They got the money," Addison confirmed. 7 seconds later she was out the door.

XXXX

As you know, everything was fine up until then.

XXXX

"Violet," Addison whispered into the phone, "I did something really stupid."

"Where are you? Naomi said I have to go out with you. She's trying to get me to wear a dress. With frills."

"I'm on a plane."

"No."

"To Seattle."

"_No_."

"It was an accident!"

"How do you accidently get on a _plane to Seattle_," Violet took a deep breath, "Aren't you suppose to be preforming a miracle on some woman's ovaries right now?"

"An OR was cancelled and it's not a long procedure, just expensive."

"So you had some free time and decided to go to Seattle?"

"It was the adrenaline. I didn't know what I was doing."

"It's a 45 minute drive to the airport on a good day!"

"I had to wait an hour for a flight too," Addison admitted, "Am I making a huge mistake?"

"Yes!" Violet closed the door to her office and sat down on her couch, "What are you going to do when you get there?"

"I don't know. Right now I'm thinking I might hang around the gift shop until there is a flight home."

"Addison. Why did you get on the plane? You had 2 hours to talk yourself out of it."

"I wasn't thinking."

"Yes. You were."

"I miss him," Addison sighed unhappily, "I'll get on the next plane home. Don't tell Naomi."

XXXX

–– Actually, I think all this could be avoided if someone answered their phone.

–– So this is my fault now?

XXXX

"Violet," Addison whispered into her phone, "We have a problem. I really wish you would pick up your phone. There wasn't a flight out of Seattle for 3 hours, so I'm sitting in a cab outside his house," she looked anxiously up and down the street, "I really wish you were there to talk me out of this cause it's going to get really really bad. Okay. I have to go." She snapped her phone shut and looked up front to the driver, "Can you wait? I'll just be a minute."

She stepped out of the cab and marched up the driveway and determinedly climbed the stairs to stand in front of the door. She hesitated only a second before knocking evenly three times.

"Please be Derek. Please be Derek," she murmured to herself under her breath.

She watched through the glass door as Meredith walked towards her, paused, then opened the door in complete confusion.

Addison could hear laughter and music blaring from the kitchen, "Is Derek here?"

"No," Meredith looked her up and down looking for clues to her intentions. "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" Addison considered this seriously, but not at all in the context that Meredith intended. "I want you to stop."

"Stop?"

"Just… I want you to step aside and let me and Derek figure this out."

"Figure what out," Meredith demanded as evenly as she could with her jaw so tense.

"Meredith," Addison attempted to break it to her gently, "Ever since we saw each other at Christmas––"

"You saw him at Christmas?"

Addison hugged her arms around herself, "There is something going on between us and I want a chance to figure it out."

"Get out."

"Meredith," Addison pleased.

"You know. I don't even believe you. What ever you think is going on… it's all in your head."

"Meredith," Addison shook her head, "We talk everyday. Sometimes for hours. He e-mails me, 3 or 4 times a day. We've played 15 games of scrabble in the last week. We are having a relation––"

"Get the _hell–_–"

"I think you and Derek should see other people."

"You are seriously deluded you know that."

"It's not you. It's him. Ask him! Ask what––" But she didn't get to finish. Meredith slammed the door in her face.

XXXX

Addison paced the sidewalk between Derek's car and the front doors of the hospital. She had a pretty good idea what had happened since Meredith slammed the door in her face.

Meredith went straight to her computer and looked up their long distance usage for the last month. Then she threw a fit and called Derek, yelling at him for being such a lying self-centered prick. Then Derek would rush home and try to convince Meredith that there was some other explanation for the hundreds of minutes of long distance to the same number in the LA area.

Sure enough Derek was walking determinedly towards her.

"_What did you do?" _He yelled.

"_We are together Derek!_" she shouted back, "_This is relationship!"_

"_What did you DO?"_

"_I broke up with her!"_

"_You––" _Derek slammed his fist down on the roof of his car_, "–– You don't get to break up with my girlfriend. What are you even doing here?!"_

"_I want to be with you, Derek! I love you. This means something –– what we are doing. It has meaning."_

"Get away from my car," he ripped open the car door, denting the car beside him.

"We talk for hours Derek. It's not harmless idle conversation. We talk about everything. We talk about nothing. We talk about your Mom moving to Seattle when she's to old to live on her own, we talk about whether or not you should move to Connecticut so that she can stay near her grandchildren. We talk about how I miss surgery and how I'm not sure if I'm cut out for private practice. We talk about how my nose has been burnt since I moved and I can't find a foundation to fix it. We have dates. You let me win battleship and I pretend that locometer is a word. We are in a relationship and I just want to make it work, Derek. I want to be with you."

Derek stared at her, stunned by her passionate speech. "Move out of the way."

XXXX

"DON'T DO IT!" Violet yelled in to the phone the second that Addison picked up.

"It's to late," Addison sagged against the plastic chair in the hotel terminal, "I talked to him. And her. I'm on my way home."

"What happened? What did you do?"

"I don't want to talk about it. My flight is boarding. Tell Naomi I can't go out with her tonight.

XXXX

When it came right down to it he was making his closing arguments to a biased jury who had already decided his fate.

"Do they have to be here?" he exclaimed, motioning to Izzie, Cristina, George, Alex and Lexi who where scattered about the room glaring at him.

"They're going to help you pack up your things. Well, George and Alex are. The rest of us are going out."

"Meredith, we need to talk––"

"What is there to talk about? Addison broke up with me for you."

"It's not Addison's decision! She's _insane_!"

"What happened over Christmas?"

Derek threw his hands up in the air, "We ran into each other at Rockefeller Center and we decided that as long as we were both on the east coast we should have Christmas dinner together."

Meredith's jaw twitched.

"We were at my Mother's! We were barely alone the whole time!"

"Did you have sex with her?"

"NO!"

"Nothing happened?" she dug.

He hesitated, "Nothing happened."

"You have one thousand two hundred and twenty three long distance minutes on the phone. _What the HELL were you talking about for one thousand two hundred and twenty three minutes?!?"_

"Nothing," Derek looked pained, "Everything."

"Everything? You mean everything that you couldn't talk to me about? _That_ everything?"

"Meredith––"

"You know what. I'm going to accept Addison's break up," Meredith was earily calm except for the fire in her eyes, "Normally I wouldn't, but _since you're in love with her I think I'll make an exception."_

"I'm _NOT IN LOVE WITH HER."_

"Well you could have fooled me! I think that when someone spends twenty hours on the phone with his ex-wife there is something to wonder about. I'm wondering if you've spent this much time on MY phone then how much have you talked to her on yours. I'm wondering what the _hell else you've been doing that I don't know about! I'm wondering if 'everything' means you've been having phone sex with your ex-wife. Because I don't know what else you could talk about for that long! You talked to her for one thousand two hundred and twenty three minutes just last month! You didn't even talk to me that much! I don't think you've ever talked to me that much."_

Derek stared at her dumbly.

"GET OUT!"

XXXX

–– I don't think I've ever endured a longer trip from Seattle to LA. Ever.

–– That's because your flight had a 2 hour stop over in Portland.

–– I don't think you understand how badly I wanted out of Seattle at that point.

XXXX

Addison trudged from the airport terminal. She wasn't sure what she expected from that trip. She'd spent the return flight in a near hysterical state that she attempted to internalize. The result was that she felt slightly feverish and extremely nauseous. And kinda drunk since she slammed back a drink every time the cart went by.

"Hey," a voice greeted her from the darkness behind a concrete pillar.

Addison squinted and finally took off the glasses that that were concealing her blood shot eyes.

"I thought you might need a drive."

Addison's eyes welled up, and she fell into Violet's arms.

"Come on," Violet gave her 5 seconds and then forced her to pull herself together, "So it didn't work. Something else will. Come on, I'll buy you a pizza."

XXXX

Violet urged Addison up her front steps and pushed her towards the door with instructions to unlock it so they could get to the wine. She handed the pizza box to Addison, "I'm going to run next door and tell Sam to tell Naomi we aren't going out with her tonight. I'll say… I'll say I don't want to wear the frilly dress and you're on my side." She smiled at Addison and pushed her through the door before hopping off the porch.

Addison wandered through her dark house. Usually she left a light on in the living room so she wouldn't trip, but apparently she'd forgotten.

She stepped into the living room, on her way to the kitchen for more alcohol, when a small light from her patio caught her eye. She walked over. The door was open and she could hear the water lapping at the shore. A small votive was lit on the table.

Derek stood slowly and brushed his hands over his thighs to smooth out imaginary wrinkles. He held a single red rose in his hand.

"Violet let me in," he explained softly as he nervously twiddled with the rose, "She stole the key from Naomi."

"How…" Addison trailed off.

"Your plane was on the runway when I got to the airport. They wouldn't bring it back; so I got the next flight," he took the pizza from her and put it on the table, "It was direct and you stopped in Portland so I got here first."

"But…"

"I brought wine," Derek offered turning back to the table to indicate 2 wine goblets and a bottle of wine, "And I got you…" he held out the rose, "Happy Valentine's Day, Addison."

Her eyes welled up with tears, and before she knew what she was doing her arms were wrapped around his neck and he was hugging her so tight her toes left the ground. The rose fell to the ground completely forgotten. "I knew you'd come," she whispered against his neck, "I knew you'd come, I just didn't think it would be tonight."

"You need to stop showing up in Seattle and claiming me as your own."

"Never. I'll always claim you as my own."

_CRASH_.

Derek and Addison pulled away from each other.

Violet looked up sheepishly from the ground beside an upturned planter at the edge of Sam's deck. "Did I ruin the moment?"

XXXX

–– That's why you invited me over? To tell me the story of how you two got back together? I know the story. I helped Derek break into your house.

–– We wanted to thank you."

–– With an eighteen dollar bottle of wine and pizza? That's the value you put on your relationship? I'd offer you couples counseling, but I don't think there is much point.

–– We aren't thanking you with pizza. We want you to be the baby's godmother.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ahhhh. Sappy fluffiness. I feel an insatiable urge to kill someone now. Not really kill, fic kill. Just to even things out.

Anyway. Happy Valentine's Day y'all.

Review, for the last time. It will motivate me to update that other thing I write.


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